Life is Better Than We Believe (sometimes)

There is no way to be prepared to literally fight for your own life.

 

 We do not often contemplate our own mortality until our mortality is threatened, then there is the numbing feeling that washes over the skin leaving one without words, and only mantra of “oh shit, oh shit, oh shit oh shit" running rampant through the mind. 

 

 Stunned, we make our journey into the fight to live not at all realizing how tough the struggle will be, and kicking ourselves for taking for granted the precious time we have already been given. 

 

 Remembering the times we cursed life and fell into “woe is me” moments over loss of jobs or being short on money to pay a bill, taking for granted the important aspects of life which are health and people who love us more than we have realized, and maybe we did not take the time to love them back, or care for their feelings or needs. 

 

 And then the fight for our lives begin, and we look back knowing how wrong we were. 

 

  Life is better than we believe, even through the treatments and pain and anxiety we feel while battling cancer, one more day, hour, minute, second is worth more than any million dollar winning ticket. 

 

   Living in the now is they key. Breathing in the air is joy. Seeing the beauty all around is sacred. People that love us should be our purpose.

 

   Live and fight!

 

     Good Luck.

Fighting Bladder Cancer

I have not posted here in quite some time. Life has taken enough twists and turns, so I thought a quick update is viable. Most recently I had been battling bladder cancer for about 6 years. Fortunately there had been no migration into my lymph nodes or anywhere else and the cancer stayed stationary in my bladder. Every so many months I would go in for surgery to have the recurrent tumor scraped away, only for the tumor to grow back again (hence the name "recurrent"). I went for immuno-therapy called BCG to see if this would cause a cure, but I was in the low percentile for whom the BCG would not work. When BCG fails, the only life saving and viable option is to have the bladder removed which is called a "cystectomy". This is a major surgery where the bladder is removed and them a stoma is created from a section of intestine and the ureters from the kidneys are connected placing the urine in the stoma, which drains constantly into a plastic bag called a urostomy that covers the stoma and this urostomy pouch becomes the new bladder. I had this surgery, which damn near killed me when the sutures used to reconnect my intestines became loose, leaking waste into my abdomen. I was rushed into emergency surgery which saved my life. I am doing fine now 2 and a half months or so later, but recovery was a bitch! As I mentioned, I do feel incredible now. The urostomy pouch, just like a real bladder, needs to be drained every 2 hours or thereabout. The pouch itself gets changed every 2-3 days, which now takes me all of 10 minutes to do. The Dr. gives me a 97% chance of being cancer free going forward, and this makes me happy because I can hopefully now plan on vacations instead of surgeries and maybe go see some things I have been wanting to see, like a trip back to the mitten and a stint in D.C. to visit The House of the Temple. I am glad to be alive and fortunate to have a happy life, and I am hopeful for 30 or more years of happiness and adventures.