"You Don't Have To Go It Alone" (But sometimes you WANT to)

Greetings!

Well, fall semester just started and once again I have been busily studying and reading and doing assignments. I am also in the midst of a 5 day hiatus from my job; the first 5 day in a row vacation I have had since 1995. It feels good to have some time away from the job, even though I like my job and like the people I work with, it can still get dreary.

My hiatus has been good for me. Lots of time to think and be re-born. Nobody is as critical of me than I am. I believe the Genesis creation myth of Adam being formed from clay has a hidden meaning. I believe we should all be more like clay and less like stone. Easily molded versus having to be chiseled away at to change or embrace change.

Last weekend I bought my ticket to see Alice Cooper in concert at a concert hall about 120 miles (2 hours) away from here. He'll be playing in a small gambling town (Wendover, Nevada) where Utahns like to go as Utah politicians and religious zealots have decided for everyone that gambling in any form is not allowed here. I'll be hopping a chartered bus that goes to the casinos and the concert hall at about 3 PM where I should arrive just in time for a nice buffet meal, a few drinks and very minimal gambling. I'll be going alone.

Now, doing things alone does not always equate to being lonely. I have been all the way across the US by myself, I attend movies by myself, have seen 2 U2 shows by myself. It has been in the times I decided to be alone that the reconstruction process started within me. The reinvention, the seeing what has been wrong to make things right in my life. The observation of self can be a painful, birthlike experience especially when you are made of stone like I was.

Now when I take time to be reborn and reflect upon my life and my deeds (or lack thereof) it is clay I am working with. Maybe I need to mold my attitude. Maybe my ideas are old and antiquated so I mold new ideas. I am working on a better "me" and it takes time and reflection and a myriad of thoughts and inner dialogue and inner arguments....but the killer of all of the molding is regret. So I shun it during those times of reflection. I can wear it like a thorny crown at times,too.

So, as I travel on a bus through the west desert of Utah into Nevada past the Bonneville Salt Flats amongst strangers, I will not be lonely.

I'll be meeting my new self.

What does All of this Mean, Anyway? Pt 2

Greetings!

Well, the last time I attempted to write this piece I was on call and the phone rang to send me to repair some cooling equipment at the county jail, which was a great time let me tell ya!

So, recently I have completed my summer semester classes with flying colors. I have once again started to learn more about myself and the world around me. I have always felt that the mind should be like a diary with a lot of empty pages that are waiting to be filled in. Everything is fair game in the diary of the mind from the "garbage" to the doodles to the profound to the mundane. I have always felt that the mind is best left with the unedited and undaunted queries of life no matter what those queries bring to light or what teachings that are often held so dear the queries would offend.

I don't believe in dogma ( a philosophy of already having arrived at "The Truth" so there is no need for further investigation of "The Truth"). I believe dogma kills the unique spirit inside of us all. I believe dogma too often blinds us into complacency and often times tricks us into believing in things that are just not true or right. I believe dogma is the true killer of the self and the love of life.

I have always believed more of progressive thought. Progressive thought is a philosophy that says we have not yet arrived at "The Truth" so we must always be seeking "The Truth".

Really, tell me..what IS true? what is Right? and why? and for whom? who said so?

There are no easy answers to those questions. What is true and right for me, may be blasphemy for another. Maybe, just maybe some things just ARE.

Not evil, not good, not holy, not satanic, not truth, not lies...some things are just what they are.

The human mind that has been taught certain moralities from childhood will have a very hard time accepting the idea of "things" that "just are". We tend to judge everything we see. We look at other cultures with certain disdains where maybe we would judge another culture as "godless" "sinners" "risque" and maybe the other culture passes certain judgements on another culture as well.

Think about all of the division this has caused, all the wars and misunderstandings this has caused.

Would'nt it be a freeing and uniting thing if we could all just see things as "just being"?


I don't know why, but this is what has been on my mind lately.

Peace to you all!

What does All of this Mean, Anyway?

Greetings!

It's a hot summer Monday afternoon and I have just gotten home from work as I write this. I have been on call since last Thursday and I am still trying to fight off the effects of being sleep deprived as the on call cell phone did wake me up this past Saturday at about 3 am.

It was a call about a hot computer server room that I was told to ignore by the co-workers of mine that have been trying to figure out why the unit can't do it's job....long boring story, but y point is that once my sleep is interrupted as it was, I find it hard to recover from the "being tired" feeling, and that sometimes means I am ornery and unreasonable as the week goes on.

On a good note, I did just finish my summer semester 2 days ago, sans a quiz for poli-sci that I will take tomorrow. That is a load off, and also I feel a great sense of accomplishment as I have completed this goal.

With that, I just got a call to go out to a building with an HVAC problem, so off I go!