"You Don't Have To Go It Alone" (But sometimes you WANT to)

Greetings!

Well, fall semester just started and once again I have been busily studying and reading and doing assignments. I am also in the midst of a 5 day hiatus from my job; the first 5 day in a row vacation I have had since 1995. It feels good to have some time away from the job, even though I like my job and like the people I work with, it can still get dreary.

My hiatus has been good for me. Lots of time to think and be re-born. Nobody is as critical of me than I am. I believe the Genesis creation myth of Adam being formed from clay has a hidden meaning. I believe we should all be more like clay and less like stone. Easily molded versus having to be chiseled away at to change or embrace change.

Last weekend I bought my ticket to see Alice Cooper in concert at a concert hall about 120 miles (2 hours) away from here. He'll be playing in a small gambling town (Wendover, Nevada) where Utahns like to go as Utah politicians and religious zealots have decided for everyone that gambling in any form is not allowed here. I'll be hopping a chartered bus that goes to the casinos and the concert hall at about 3 PM where I should arrive just in time for a nice buffet meal, a few drinks and very minimal gambling. I'll be going alone.

Now, doing things alone does not always equate to being lonely. I have been all the way across the US by myself, I attend movies by myself, have seen 2 U2 shows by myself. It has been in the times I decided to be alone that the reconstruction process started within me. The reinvention, the seeing what has been wrong to make things right in my life. The observation of self can be a painful, birthlike experience especially when you are made of stone like I was.

Now when I take time to be reborn and reflect upon my life and my deeds (or lack thereof) it is clay I am working with. Maybe I need to mold my attitude. Maybe my ideas are old and antiquated so I mold new ideas. I am working on a better "me" and it takes time and reflection and a myriad of thoughts and inner dialogue and inner arguments....but the killer of all of the molding is regret. So I shun it during those times of reflection. I can wear it like a thorny crown at times,too.

So, as I travel on a bus through the west desert of Utah into Nevada past the Bonneville Salt Flats amongst strangers, I will not be lonely.

I'll be meeting my new self.