The Spiritual "Center"

I have been reflecting today on my own spirituality.

It's a curious thing that I know exactly when it is that I am further away from that "center".

I find that I start to get selfish, vengeful, angry, frustrated, restless. Almost any negative emotion I can name is what I tend to feel more of when I am not centered. I hate to be around people (more than usual) and they generally hate to be around me.

I want to sleep more and do less. I start to say "oh fuck that" more than usual,too, instead of "how can I help?".

When I am closer to my spirituality, I find that life flows much better. I am not struggling through the day as much, and the days seem better. I am more peaceful and I attract goodness to my personal space. I become the real "me" the person I have spent countless hours alone with, made that Greyhound trip with and that Amtrak trip with. The "me" that sings and dances and more quickly than I realize, tells that joke or makes that funny comment that annoys or makes other laugh...or both at once.

I have been away from that center lately. I have been kinda miserable.

And right now, I could really use that spiritual boost as I am nearing the "finals" period of my 1st semester back in school in 9 years. I have been working in the heat all day, and then coming home at night doing my assignments until almost 11 at night. NO WONDER I have drifted!! :)

So, this week I will find that quiet spot I love, and I will say my meditations, I will ask for the holy wisdom to fill me, and I will once again feel like a whole human being.

Makes me wonder why I don't take time to do this more often.