Another Sunday and I find myself finally awake after sleeping in until 1030 today. I usually sleep in late on the weekends. I always have, really as I do awaken at 6 am every day and arrive at work at about 640 am. I then work til 300, often in very hot/cold, noisy, and otherwise very uncomfortable and stressful conditions.
Usually on the weekends I have my children, but this month I have not seen them as they have either been working, had holiday activities with friends, or have been off to summer camps. I miss them alot when they are not here (which is most of the time) but I recognize that I must not make it a bad thing for them when they don't want to come over as it IS important that they establish friendships and lives of their own without the feeling they are "letting dad down". I am proud of the three of them as they are very selfless and empathetic and very smart human beings....I like to think I have something to do with that, but I give them all of the credit.
I have to admit I am disappointed at my lifelong (adult life anyway) heroes, U2, for not finding a way to (1) come to Salt Lake City on their tour, and (2) make their ticket prices more affordable. Yeah, I know, I know....the GA seats closest to the stage are 30 dollars, but why do I have to pay over 50 dollars a year to be a premium u2.com member to "get the chance" to buy the cheaper tix? I have spent a lot of money as a fan of the band, so I DO have the paid right to bitch here for a moment.
I remember seeing the "Pop Mart" Tour where all seats were 65 dollars. Now, for a stadium show where 70,000 to 80,000 people are going to attend, I felt that was a fair price, especially since U2 would not take a sponsor endorsement and the shows ARE good, and the stage WAS huge. The the Elevation Tour came to town as an arena show, I did not pay for my tix, as I was there as a gift, but I am sure the seats were over 100 dollars...fine, you get less people at an arena show, no sponsors, OK.
Then I saw the "Elevation" Tour, 160 dollars, Ummmmm now I am feeling like this is getting steep especially since I just paid for the U2 show book and the U2 by U2 book....30-40 dollars each there. I woulda missed the show had I not done some side work installing a furnace/AC ...so close to xmas, too. Many went without gifts so I could see the show.
This brings me to the latest 360 Tour. Ok, it's great that the GA fans get to stand for 4 hours plus (including opening act) and pay 30 dollars IF they have paid 50 dollars a year as a U2.com member and could get a pre-sale ticket. It's a stadium only tour, which means the fans also have to fight traffic and stand in a long line to get into the show, and then the hassle of getting the car outta parking and back home...battling 80-90 thousand people. IF you did not join the u2.com site as a premium member, you get to have a seat in the stadium..somewhere...for about 250 dollars. OH! AND the show is SPONSORED by Blackberry. Now I am feeling a little much is expected from me to be a fan.
Stadium shows are usually a controlled monotany of events anyway, and to pay 250 dollars for 1 ticket and parking and programs and t shirts adding much more money, and then feel sore and stiff for a couple days from standing so long, is it worth it to me? Sometimes in a stadium show you are so damn far from the stage, you may as well be in the parking lot just trying to listen.
U2 are a great band, really the best in the world. I love the band, but I don't like the way they have made the tix so expensive now. I think 80-90 dollars a ticket would be more respectable especially in this economy, leaving some room for a fan to park and buy trinkets. I am disappointed at the band for the steep costs inflicted on the fans for this tour. I would have been more impressed if they would have stuck to arenas and kept things affordable that way.
How much is enough? I always wonder.
Anyway, that's my bitching for today. It's hard to remember sometimes that fans are not always going to be happy with a band (see "Pop") but we do keep coming back for more...happily.
Have a great week!
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
The Spiritual "Center"
I have been reflecting today on my own spirituality.
It's a curious thing that I know exactly when it is that I am further away from that "center".
I find that I start to get selfish, vengeful, angry, frustrated, restless. Almost any negative emotion I can name is what I tend to feel more of when I am not centered. I hate to be around people (more than usual) and they generally hate to be around me.
I want to sleep more and do less. I start to say "oh fuck that" more than usual,too, instead of "how can I help?".
When I am closer to my spirituality, I find that life flows much better. I am not struggling through the day as much, and the days seem better. I am more peaceful and I attract goodness to my personal space. I become the real "me" the person I have spent countless hours alone with, made that Greyhound trip with and that Amtrak trip with. The "me" that sings and dances and more quickly than I realize, tells that joke or makes that funny comment that annoys or makes other laugh...or both at once.
I have been away from that center lately. I have been kinda miserable.
And right now, I could really use that spiritual boost as I am nearing the "finals" period of my 1st semester back in school in 9 years. I have been working in the heat all day, and then coming home at night doing my assignments until almost 11 at night. NO WONDER I have drifted!! :)
So, this week I will find that quiet spot I love, and I will say my meditations, I will ask for the holy wisdom to fill me, and I will once again feel like a whole human being.
Makes me wonder why I don't take time to do this more often.
It's a curious thing that I know exactly when it is that I am further away from that "center".
I find that I start to get selfish, vengeful, angry, frustrated, restless. Almost any negative emotion I can name is what I tend to feel more of when I am not centered. I hate to be around people (more than usual) and they generally hate to be around me.
I want to sleep more and do less. I start to say "oh fuck that" more than usual,too, instead of "how can I help?".
When I am closer to my spirituality, I find that life flows much better. I am not struggling through the day as much, and the days seem better. I am more peaceful and I attract goodness to my personal space. I become the real "me" the person I have spent countless hours alone with, made that Greyhound trip with and that Amtrak trip with. The "me" that sings and dances and more quickly than I realize, tells that joke or makes that funny comment that annoys or makes other laugh...or both at once.
I have been away from that center lately. I have been kinda miserable.
And right now, I could really use that spiritual boost as I am nearing the "finals" period of my 1st semester back in school in 9 years. I have been working in the heat all day, and then coming home at night doing my assignments until almost 11 at night. NO WONDER I have drifted!! :)
So, this week I will find that quiet spot I love, and I will say my meditations, I will ask for the holy wisdom to fill me, and I will once again feel like a whole human being.
Makes me wonder why I don't take time to do this more often.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
IF this is the day the LORD has made...I am disappointed with his powers.
I did not have a very good day today.
It started out at 600 am when the alarm woke me up and I stumbled downstairs to my bathroom to start getting ready for my work day. I was low on toothpaste, but I knew this for days...squeezed out enough to make it work though. Combed my hair, put on the anti-perspirant, and walked back upstairs to get my work clothes on.
I put my clothes on and fumbled around for my shoes, went into the kitchen to put the shoes on, and there it all was....the roast that I took out of the freezer to thaw..YESTERDAY morning, the recycle pile that HAD to get to the curb RIGHT NOW as well as the garbage that needed to be emptied. So I hurried and did all of this. The roast went back into the fridge. I HOPE I don't get sick after I slow cook it for 8 hours...it was still cold to the touch, so...here goes. I did all of this with barely enough time to make it to my bus.
The bus arrived very shortly after I got through walking/running to the stop. And after I sat down, the 2 bananas, 3 apples, 1 cobb salad, and the chef salad I made for lunch ( the cobb was dinner) started to alert me that all of the nourishment had been absorbed and needed to leave my body. So, I have this inner dialogue "OK OK...just FIVE MORE MINUTES until I get to work...hang ON!!
The bus ALMOST broke down, I mean it literally stalled. All kinds of alarms sounding, the driver sort of cursing...and I am about to "blow".
Long story short, I made it to work just in time. BUT in a rather bad mood. I made my way into the office area where I download my time from a PDA every morning, thinking "OK OK at least I will have a few moments alone, usually nobody is even here...I can calm down"
But not this morning. The whole fucking crew was right there, and in my way. I was in no mood at all to see them, least of all talk to them. I hate that shit when you really NEED down time, and just can't seem to GET it. And of course Tuesdays are our meeting day where I get to listen to the fuckers drone on about what they "did" the past week.
I got through the meeting and got calm, but then I ran my ass off most of the day trying to make repairs on AC equipment because this is what I do for a living, yeah, it's wonderful, enriching and FUN ;)
I came home for lunch and ate another salad. The Michael Jackson memorial service had just started. I felt a strong sadness and emptiness I have not felt for a number of years.
I'll miss Michael. But I am hypocrite, too.
I am so guilty of buying the gossip, spreading the rumors, making the jokes. Now I am talking about how I am going to miss Michael.
I am a hypocrite. I am also a fan. I bought so many of his records over the years, even when it was not the "cool" thing to do. I love his music. But, I am also a hypocrite.
When I heard his little girl call him "Daddy" it made me cry.
My kids call me "Daddy", too. What kind of hell would my kids have gone through if I was the butt end of all the jokes over the years? I can't believe we made him less than human at times. I can't believe how cruel I can be.
Michael taught me a lesson today. I need to realize that no matter who any person is, famous, homeless, neighbor, friend, that person deserves humanity from me. Kindness, respect, love.
I hope I never again aim sharp words and crticism at anybody.
UNLESS of course, they happen to be republican.
It started out at 600 am when the alarm woke me up and I stumbled downstairs to my bathroom to start getting ready for my work day. I was low on toothpaste, but I knew this for days...squeezed out enough to make it work though. Combed my hair, put on the anti-perspirant, and walked back upstairs to get my work clothes on.
I put my clothes on and fumbled around for my shoes, went into the kitchen to put the shoes on, and there it all was....the roast that I took out of the freezer to thaw..YESTERDAY morning, the recycle pile that HAD to get to the curb RIGHT NOW as well as the garbage that needed to be emptied. So I hurried and did all of this. The roast went back into the fridge. I HOPE I don't get sick after I slow cook it for 8 hours...it was still cold to the touch, so...here goes. I did all of this with barely enough time to make it to my bus.
The bus arrived very shortly after I got through walking/running to the stop. And after I sat down, the 2 bananas, 3 apples, 1 cobb salad, and the chef salad I made for lunch ( the cobb was dinner) started to alert me that all of the nourishment had been absorbed and needed to leave my body. So, I have this inner dialogue "OK OK...just FIVE MORE MINUTES until I get to work...hang ON!!
The bus ALMOST broke down, I mean it literally stalled. All kinds of alarms sounding, the driver sort of cursing...and I am about to "blow".
Long story short, I made it to work just in time. BUT in a rather bad mood. I made my way into the office area where I download my time from a PDA every morning, thinking "OK OK at least I will have a few moments alone, usually nobody is even here...I can calm down"
But not this morning. The whole fucking crew was right there, and in my way. I was in no mood at all to see them, least of all talk to them. I hate that shit when you really NEED down time, and just can't seem to GET it. And of course Tuesdays are our meeting day where I get to listen to the fuckers drone on about what they "did" the past week.
I got through the meeting and got calm, but then I ran my ass off most of the day trying to make repairs on AC equipment because this is what I do for a living, yeah, it's wonderful, enriching and FUN ;)
I came home for lunch and ate another salad. The Michael Jackson memorial service had just started. I felt a strong sadness and emptiness I have not felt for a number of years.
I'll miss Michael. But I am hypocrite, too.
I am so guilty of buying the gossip, spreading the rumors, making the jokes. Now I am talking about how I am going to miss Michael.
I am a hypocrite. I am also a fan. I bought so many of his records over the years, even when it was not the "cool" thing to do. I love his music. But, I am also a hypocrite.
When I heard his little girl call him "Daddy" it made me cry.
My kids call me "Daddy", too. What kind of hell would my kids have gone through if I was the butt end of all the jokes over the years? I can't believe we made him less than human at times. I can't believe how cruel I can be.
Michael taught me a lesson today. I need to realize that no matter who any person is, famous, homeless, neighbor, friend, that person deserves humanity from me. Kindness, respect, love.
I hope I never again aim sharp words and crticism at anybody.
UNLESS of course, they happen to be republican.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
My Morning View
This is what I see every morning after my 2 block walk to the bus stop for my 10 minute ride to work.
I often stare at the mountains and say a thank-you to the universe for all of the lessons that I have learned through life. It's been a good life, too. Better than I ever deserved.
It has been a hard week in a way learning of Michael. Ed, and Farrah's demise.
I was a big fan of Ed and Michael, not as much Farrah, and for no particular reason. I remember watching Johnny Carson in High School when I could not sleep. The banter between Ed and Johnny contributed in a lot of ways to my own sense of humor and timing.
I was a big fan of Michael especially during the Thriller era. You were,too, don't lie!
Michael's legacy lives on through all sorts of fabrics of our daily and "entertainment" aspects of our lives. Every time I saw U2's big tour productions, I was always reminded who put on the big tours first. It was Michael and the "Victory" Tour with his brothers. It was the first tour of that magnitude where there were two stages being built in 2 venues at once. One stage was being used while the other was being built. The used stage was torn down immediately after the show and was delivered and built while the built stage was once again being used. It was a "leap frog" system that was invented for that tour and is being used today for the big stadium shows.
I must have worn my vinyl Thriller album out I listened to it a million times. Watched the Thriller video so much I still see it burned in the back of my eyes. As a teenager in Detroit, and not living very far from Hitsville, USA (Motown Records studios) where Michale got his start, his talent inspired me greatly to go and do great things. Of course, maybe I have not or will not ever achieve "great things" but the inspiration never left me.
He died too young.
That picture was taken the day before Michael died. I am sure whenever I look at the mountains again, I will remember his contribution to my own life through his music.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
June 14,2009
Greetings!
Had a wonderful birthday weekend. I am glad I took Friday off from work. OH!! about Friday, I decided to do something totally out of line from what I would normally do. Kind of a long story that starts 4 years ago.....
Four years ago, I used to reply "oh GOD where's my FLASK?" half-jokingly when my wife would ask me to do a chore or go somewhere I did not want to go. So, as a joke for xmas that year, she bought me a flask set. It's a nice one, too. Funny thing though...it even has a 1 oz keychain flask as well as a hip flask...KEYCHAIN!! OMG!! Too funny!!
Fast forward to last Friday. I decided I wanted to go see a movie. I usually go alone as my wife does not like going to movies, which is ok, I like being alone sometimes. I decided to do something just totally out of the norm, I pulled the flask out from my drawer (never used it before) filled it with some rather expensive Single Barrel Jack Daniels Whiskey, and proceeded out the door to the bus stop, which then takes me to the light rail, which drops me off right at the door of the theater. Ok, so I took a shot or two before i left, as well. GUILTY!! :)
So, I got to the theater, ordered a Dr. Pepper and went and sat in my seat 30 minutes early..no one in the theater but me. I poured myself a nice Jack and Pepper. Totally enhanced the movie!!
One thing though. I did not take into account the effects of alcohol on the bladder. Let's just say I was glad the movie ended. Just in time ,too.
I had some whisky left over and as I was waiting at the light rail station I decided to drink that for the ride home. You know....public transportation is better on alcohol than off of it. I could actually tolerate peoples annoyances much better. The ride seemed smoother,too. I think I was actually even smiling!!
So, yeah, Friday was excellent. I think this will not be the last time the flask will be used for movies and days on light rail.
On Saturday, my wife and I ate at our special chinese restaurant and she gave me a really nice diamond ring that she had on layway for months. I have always wanted a big diamond ring, too. It's the Elvis in me, what can I say?
So, it's been a great weekend. Time off from work is very good for the soul.
And so is a flask....go get one!!! :)
All the best!
Had a wonderful birthday weekend. I am glad I took Friday off from work. OH!! about Friday, I decided to do something totally out of line from what I would normally do. Kind of a long story that starts 4 years ago.....
Four years ago, I used to reply "oh GOD where's my FLASK?" half-jokingly when my wife would ask me to do a chore or go somewhere I did not want to go. So, as a joke for xmas that year, she bought me a flask set. It's a nice one, too. Funny thing though...it even has a 1 oz keychain flask as well as a hip flask...KEYCHAIN!! OMG!! Too funny!!
Fast forward to last Friday. I decided I wanted to go see a movie. I usually go alone as my wife does not like going to movies, which is ok, I like being alone sometimes. I decided to do something just totally out of the norm, I pulled the flask out from my drawer (never used it before) filled it with some rather expensive Single Barrel Jack Daniels Whiskey, and proceeded out the door to the bus stop, which then takes me to the light rail, which drops me off right at the door of the theater. Ok, so I took a shot or two before i left, as well. GUILTY!! :)
So, I got to the theater, ordered a Dr. Pepper and went and sat in my seat 30 minutes early..no one in the theater but me. I poured myself a nice Jack and Pepper. Totally enhanced the movie!!
One thing though. I did not take into account the effects of alcohol on the bladder. Let's just say I was glad the movie ended. Just in time ,too.
I had some whisky left over and as I was waiting at the light rail station I decided to drink that for the ride home. You know....public transportation is better on alcohol than off of it. I could actually tolerate peoples annoyances much better. The ride seemed smoother,too. I think I was actually even smiling!!
So, yeah, Friday was excellent. I think this will not be the last time the flask will be used for movies and days on light rail.
On Saturday, my wife and I ate at our special chinese restaurant and she gave me a really nice diamond ring that she had on layway for months. I have always wanted a big diamond ring, too. It's the Elvis in me, what can I say?
So, it's been a great weekend. Time off from work is very good for the soul.
And so is a flask....go get one!!! :)
All the best!
Thursday, June 11, 2009
June 11,2009 Thursday
Greetings!
Well, it has been a very different time in my life lately as I pursue the college degree. I have been enjoying the challenge that school offers. I have been offered new ways to think about life and politics as well. Some nights though, after working all day and taking public transportation home, and then walking the three blocks, and THEN making dinner and eating and cleaning, THEN finally reading the 2 chapters in the text books, THEN doing my assignments...some nights I get very tired. But still, I am enjoying myself...it's either this or watch too much TV....I'd rather be schooling.
Saturday June 13, is my birthday. I am taking the 12th off from work to celebrate a bit early. I am going to a movie and maybe have a few drinks. I kinda started my time off early as I mostly just drove around during work and listened to the radio today. I even sang a few songs for the first time in a long time...realized I still have a good singing voice. I used to sing all of the time, don't know why I ever stopped, I rarely even have the radio on anymore, but I think I'll change that.
I am starting to feel more alive lately. I have been in a funk that has been hard to shake. I think it has to do with feeling like I have done it all already. I even made a statement a few weeks ago that I don't think we are supposed to live past 30. By then it seems a person has seen just about all there is to see. But I don't feel that way tonight.
Tonight I am excited for a new day. I am glad to have some time off work, maybe that's part of my issues. I work too much, not as much as I USED to, but still, there's a lot to do in my job. I am excited to be back in school. I really have missed it. It's hard some days to do the assignments, but I make it through. Can't wait til I get the diplomas.
I hope you have all been well. Thanks for reading this rambling tonight.
Well, it has been a very different time in my life lately as I pursue the college degree. I have been enjoying the challenge that school offers. I have been offered new ways to think about life and politics as well. Some nights though, after working all day and taking public transportation home, and then walking the three blocks, and THEN making dinner and eating and cleaning, THEN finally reading the 2 chapters in the text books, THEN doing my assignments...some nights I get very tired. But still, I am enjoying myself...it's either this or watch too much TV....I'd rather be schooling.
Saturday June 13, is my birthday. I am taking the 12th off from work to celebrate a bit early. I am going to a movie and maybe have a few drinks. I kinda started my time off early as I mostly just drove around during work and listened to the radio today. I even sang a few songs for the first time in a long time...realized I still have a good singing voice. I used to sing all of the time, don't know why I ever stopped, I rarely even have the radio on anymore, but I think I'll change that.
I am starting to feel more alive lately. I have been in a funk that has been hard to shake. I think it has to do with feeling like I have done it all already. I even made a statement a few weeks ago that I don't think we are supposed to live past 30. By then it seems a person has seen just about all there is to see. But I don't feel that way tonight.
Tonight I am excited for a new day. I am glad to have some time off work, maybe that's part of my issues. I work too much, not as much as I USED to, but still, there's a lot to do in my job. I am excited to be back in school. I really have missed it. It's hard some days to do the assignments, but I make it through. Can't wait til I get the diplomas.
I hope you have all been well. Thanks for reading this rambling tonight.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Sunday May 24,2009
It is a rainy holiday weekend as I write this. Iam glad that it is rainy as I am on call this weekend, and the swimming pools owned by the county will open tomorrow. I am hoping for torrential downpours so people will just stay home.
I did not used to mind being on call, but it seems that in this point of my career, I would just rather not be bothered by the phone ringing and me running to fix someone elses problems. Yeah, it's age and just the mundane 15 year in career thing doing it to me.
On a brighter note, I did start my college classes just this past Monday. The classes are going very well, and I am glad I decided to go back to school. It feels great to be working towards a goal and I anticipate all of my classes going well this semester. I have been able to write some pretty good essays so far as well as do well on some quizzes. This has been a confidence builder for me, and I wish I would have went back to school YEARS ago. BUT there WAS the 60 hour weeks and all the hard work that had me very very tired when I got home. That is the one good thing about where I am in my career now, I don't physically work as hard as I used to, which affords me time and energy to pursue my education.
I had a little scare last week as I was passing a fair amount of blood in my urine, went to the DR where he will be sending me to get a CT scan on Tuesday. After the initial shock of everything, I realized I DID feel some pain in my back and around my front side near my bladder a couple days before the blood. And I HAVE passed kidney stones in the past. Si, I am sure that is what happened, but better to be safe....I just wish the insurance paid more for the tests.
So, things are well. I cannot really complain too much. I wish I made more money, but don't we all?
Have a happy Memorial Day everyone, and please, stay away from the pools...give me a rest!! :)
I did not used to mind being on call, but it seems that in this point of my career, I would just rather not be bothered by the phone ringing and me running to fix someone elses problems. Yeah, it's age and just the mundane 15 year in career thing doing it to me.
On a brighter note, I did start my college classes just this past Monday. The classes are going very well, and I am glad I decided to go back to school. It feels great to be working towards a goal and I anticipate all of my classes going well this semester. I have been able to write some pretty good essays so far as well as do well on some quizzes. This has been a confidence builder for me, and I wish I would have went back to school YEARS ago. BUT there WAS the 60 hour weeks and all the hard work that had me very very tired when I got home. That is the one good thing about where I am in my career now, I don't physically work as hard as I used to, which affords me time and energy to pursue my education.
I had a little scare last week as I was passing a fair amount of blood in my urine, went to the DR where he will be sending me to get a CT scan on Tuesday. After the initial shock of everything, I realized I DID feel some pain in my back and around my front side near my bladder a couple days before the blood. And I HAVE passed kidney stones in the past. Si, I am sure that is what happened, but better to be safe....I just wish the insurance paid more for the tests.
So, things are well. I cannot really complain too much. I wish I made more money, but don't we all?
Have a happy Memorial Day everyone, and please, stay away from the pools...give me a rest!! :)
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